Spratt Strikes Back Strikes Back
by NewYorker5152
Summary: While alone one evening with his writing, Denker comes in to ruffle Spratt's feathers and Spratt decides to get even. A little bit of friendly fun between the two. It's a short story with three chapters! I hope you all enjoy.
1. Ideas

This is a little one off ficlet that takes place around the time Spratt is writing for the paper and after it's made known Denker finds him out, he decides to get her back in the best way. Sometimes, revenge can be sweet! I hope you all enjoy!

The Dowager Countess had spent her afternoon at Crawley house, enjoying a nice lunch and tea with her cousin Isobel. She and Dickie had just gone on a trip to France and sharing all about it with Violet.

" Sounds as though you two have had quite an adventure." Violet said.

" We had a splendid time. I'll leave you two ladies to talk. I'm going into town to pick some things up. Pleasure to see you again." Dickie said, standing to leave.

He kissed Isobel on the temple whispered something in her ear before leaving. Violet was very happy for the couple and glad her cousin had come to her senses.

" You seem happy." Violet said as she sipped her tea.

" I am. Dickie is a wonderful husband…" Isobel said smiling.

" Well, now his sons are out of the picture I'm sure you two are living in unbothered bliss." Violet smirked.

Isobel was blushing and managed a nod.

" Which reminds me of Spratt and Denker. Those two act like an old married couple, Denker manages to drive him mad. I found poor Spratt in such distress last evening. Denker manages to play games with him and rather enjoys it too. I just find it amusing, trying to see how much more Spratt can take." she chuckled, getting a laugh out of Isobel too.

The thunder rumbled and Isobel and Violet stared up at the sky. It had taken a turn quickly and the wind was picking up.

" I'd think it be best if I head home now. I'm sure Lord Merton wouldn't want my company for the rest of the evening." Violet said, standing.

" It was a pleasure to have you. Come round tomorrow for tea if you'd like." Isobel said as they headed back inside.

The Dowager nodded and headed to the waiting car.

When she got in, the rain was coming down. She quickly made it inside and had Denker help her change for bed. Once she was in her evening clothes, Spratt brought in a cup of tea.

" Will that be all M'lady?" he asked.

" That will be all for the night." Violet said as she dismissed Spratt for the evening.

" Yes ma'am. Goodnight M'lady." Spratt said as he hurriedly made his way to his cupboard to finish work on an article he had started the day before. He had a deadline to meet and was nearly finished. He was glad for some peace and quiet after a long day.

After grabbing a cup of tea and some biscuits, Spratt laid his materials out and began to write. He was 15 minutes in when the silence started to get on his nerves.

_It's a little too quiet in here_… Spratt thought to himself.

He had begun work on another article for Lady Edith's paper and was humming a song.

He always felt uneasy if the Dowager's house became quiet. It signaled to him that Denker was more than likely on the prowl searching to stick her nose where it didn't belong since the Dowager was asleep for the evening.

She found a thrill in messing with Spratt. She liked to tease him to get a rise out of him.

The Dowager didn't read much into their petty arguments and found them rather enthralling and enjoyed sharing them with Cousin Isobel when she had the chance.

" Writing again I see Mister Spratt?" she smirked as she stood in the doorway, clearly shocking Spratt making him jump nearly 3 feet in the air.

" Ms. Denker why must you insist on bothering me when I'm working? You heard the Dowager, she had no problem with my writing. As long as it does not interfere with my duties in this house, I'm free to write when my day is done." Spratt took aim back at her, quickly coming up with something in his mind if she was to be so nosy.

Denker let out a laugh and rolled her eyes a bit.

" Oh just seeing what you're writing about this time. Last week's article was a bore if you ask me." She pursed her lips as she spoke, waiting for the smoke to come out of his ears.

Spratt rolled his eyes and went back to his work. He could tell Denker had hit the bottle.

" Well if you must know, I'm writing about...love Ms. Denker." he said.

Denker nearly choked on the glass of wine she'd been indulging in.

" Love? How are you an expert on love? Do tell. You wouldn't know the first thing about it. That's a woman's expertise. Take my advice Mister Spratt, I know everything about love." Denker said, shutting the door behind her, twirling around, a little tipsy from her booze.

Spratt managed a little laugh and raised a brow at Denker.

" Love Spratt, love is a wonderful thing. As a matter of fact, I think you should interview me for this little column of yours." She said, planting herself in the chair right beside her coworker.

" Ahh very well Ms. Denker, and how shall I quote you." Spratt was ready for this one. Knowing in her drunken stupor she wouldn't recall the words she said and it would make for a great article the next week.

He put pen to paper and began to jot down her words.

…TBC…..


	2. Hot Off The Press

Friday rolled around, which meant Spratt's newest column was set to make its debut. He woke up in the best mood, humming as he cleaned up from breakfast.

" You seem rather cheery this morning Spratt." Violet Crawley noticed as she watched her butler cleaning. He seemed really cheery and couldn't tell if it was due in part to Denker's absence that morning or the article...she figured she knew the answer.

" Ahh yes, M'Lady. It's just a wonderful day." he smirked.

_A wonderful day indeed_… Spratt thought to himself.

He had the morning paper laid out on the table, hoping the Dowager would read his article. She didn't even glance once, making him scowl.

Little did he know, she'd read the article and was getting ready to head to The Abbey to a luncheon, where she was eager to share the article Spratt had so elegantly written about his counterpart, knowing Denker had no clue this was coming.

She noticed his shrug as he continued about his morning chores.

" Has Ms. Denker seen the paper this morning?" Violet asked, noting how Spratt had quickly changed his tune, standing up a little straighter at the sink.

" She hasn't M'lady. She's been busy with errands." He replied trying not to laugh right then and there.

He heard the Dowager manage a chuckle under her breath and her cane hit the floor as she stood.

" I'd certainly not like to be in her line of fire when she arrives home." She said, giving Spratt a cheeky look.

" _You and me both_…" Spratt said under his breath.

" I'll have the car waiting for you in half an hour M'lady." He replied with a nod and a smile playing at his lips.

…

Just about the time the Dowager was headed down the road she saw Denker headed back to the house and tried to suppress a chuckle she let slip. She never liked for the help to catch her in a moment of weakness.

" Is everything alright, M'lady?" her driver asked, surprised to hear laugh escape from her lips.

" Just fine. Keep driving, we have to pick up Lady Merton." Violet said, tapping her cane against the door.

" As you wish." he replied, maintaining a calm front.

They arrived to Isobel's and Violet was hoping she'd be ready to head to the Abbey. Unfortunately for her, Dickie was waiting instead. She wondered where Isobel was and why she wasn't out front.

" Why Lord Merton, I was expecting Isobel, isn't she aware I was coming?" Violet asked.

" Goodmorning Violet. Isobel should be down any moment. I just wanted to see you both off before you headed for lunch." Dickie said with a smile.

" How charming." Violet responded.

" Oh...Violet, do you mind seeing what's wrong with my wife? It seems as though something has upset her and I'm not sure what it could be."

Violet raised a brow, Dickie was usually keen on Isobel and great at reading her emotions compared to other men. Dickie could see right through her.

" Of course. Although I'm quite surprised you couldn't get it out of her." Violet responded, I am a bit worried.

" She's been so quiet since dinner this morning." Dickie paled a little. He just didn't understand what the problem was.

Before the two could finish the conversation, Dickie heard the front door shut and Violet saw Isobel just leaving the house. She looked rather sullen. A blank expression was on her pale face. Violet hated when she couldn't read her cousin.

Dickie opened the door and made a sweet remark to his wife to which Isobel silently ignored him and shut the door, signaling for him to back up.

Dickie tipped his hat and the driver moved forward, heading to the Abbey.

" Don't start in on me." Isobel spoke up, clearly not wanting to make conversation.

" My, my, who rained on your parade?" Violet quipped, staring up hoping to get a rise out of Isobel.

" Oh I'm sorry Violet. It's just...I haven't felt all that well since coming back from the trip. I think I could've caught something. Dickie was pestering me all last night about seeing Dr. Clarkson and I lost my temper." Isobel said as she put her hand to her head.

" I'm terribly sorry. You didn't have to come for luncheon, although I do have to share something that may be of interest to you and the others." Violet said with a smirk.

Isobel shrugged but raised a brow.

" Trust me, you'll feel better when you hear this…" Violet said looking towards her cousin.

" Oh goody we've arrived." Violet added seeing as though she hadn't elicited response out of Isobel.

….

Inside, everyone sat down at the table for a casual luncheon.

Everyone seemed chatty and in good spirits, except Isobel. Violet noted this as she scanned the table waiting to bring up her story.

She cleared her throat to hopefully change the tone in the room.

" Did any of you catch the paper this morning? Edith- I think Spratt's article this week proved to be a great success, catching Ms. Denker off guard. It's certainly thrilling to watch him get the best of her. Usually she's 10 paces ahead." Violet said, a twinkle in her eye.

Edith had been sipping her tea and stopped short, nearly spitting it out and laughing. The article written had been quite a shock to her and she couldn't believe the information Spratt had gotten out of Denker in the first place. Everyone had read it at the Abbey and it was the talk of downstairs. Denker's drunken quotes filled the column.

" Oh...it was the gossip amongst downstairs this morning. Our staff could hardly contain themselves." Robert said to his mother with a chuckle.

" Did you see her this morning?" Mary asked.

" No, actually I didn't. I just hope Spratt will still consider being employed when I return from lunch. Denker enjoys dancing circles around him, driving him mad." Violet said with a chuckle.

She was clearly amused by the situation, and wondered if there was something more between her staff.

" Did you get a chance to read it, Isobel? You've hardly said a word since you've been here." Robert asked.

Isobel's head popped up from her bowl of soup. She put her spoon down and shook her head.

" I haven't had a chance to read it." she said softly.

Everyone was clearly staring at her, they all knew she wasn't well. No one dared set her off. Violet had warned them all not to make comments about her appearance. Violet had seen the look of worry cross Mary's face when she saw her mother-in-law and instantly pulled her aside, telling her to mention to the others to keep quiet.

" Isobel, aren't you well?" Cora asked, before quickly realising her mistake.

" I'm fine. Just tired." she replied in haste.

" Read this and I'm sure you'll perk up." Violet said as she handed her cousin the article she'd cut from the paper.

Isobel scanned over the title. Denker had drunkinly taken over she presumed. She knew the woman indulged.

" She must've been plastered when Spratt took this down." Isobel commented as she continued to read.

"...the best way to win a man over is by driving him absolutely crazy. Nagging them seems to get their attention. I am an expert at it. For more advice write to me at-" Isobel stopped reading and she started giggling, clearly seeing Spratt had twisted her words around a bit.

" Well dear me, I think the old girl has her eyes set on Spratt." Isobel said.

" If she thinks her tips will have men falling all over her, she's right. She's doing a great job of keeping them down left and right." Violet said.

" Mama...don't be so hard on Denker." Cora chastised.

" Why not? I don't need her playing matchmaker. Imagine that. Denker...a _matchmaker_? I'm the real expert. Just look at Lord Merton and Isobel." she said with a nod.

" Cousin Violet it right. With her pushy attitude she can have anyone making a match." Isobel retorted causing Mary, Cora, and Edith to all smile.

She was feeling better now that she'd read the article. She was glad she had come to lunch..

…

Meanwhile back at the Dowager's, Spratt was busy with some chores when Denker finally came up after her lunch.

" Dear Septimus Spratt, might I have a word with you?" she asked with the fakest smile he'd ever seen upon her lips.

Spratt managed an internal laugh and wipe the smirk off his face before setting the items he was polishing down. Truth be told he had been dying to see her reaction. She'd been drunk out of her mind the night it was written and he knew she'd forgotten all about it- that is until now.

" Of course Misses Denker. What would you like to say, on record or off?" he asked taking a seat.

Denker slammed the article down in front of him.

" Just who do you think you are. You just wait until the Dowager comes home and sees this. Now I'm certain you'll be fired. Dear old Spratt, forget me ratting you out about your little family emergency, but these lies you've printed, these misquotations...why she's sure to dismiss you." she said with a laugh.

Spratt coughed a little and straightened his tie.

" Off the record, Miss Denker, I'm still employed here. I never misquoted you. You spent an hour giving me the cold hard facts right at this table. I'm sure you of all people would remember, unless something has hindered you from recalling our conversation." he said with a proud smirk.

" I've got no idea what you're talking about." Denker said, sticking her nose in the air.

" On the contrary. I know on weekends you drink liquid courage...you keep it hidden in the umbrella stand." Spratt retorted.

Denker was left speechless for once. How did he? She wasn't going to let this be a moment of weakness.

" It seems as though you're quite the popular love analyst. We've received two rush letters here addressed to you." he said, sliding them over.

Denker snatched them up and quietly turned and left the room without another word.

" Game. Set. Match. I'd call that a win." Spratt said proudly to himself.

TBC…..


	3. Game Set Match

The Dowager was jovial on the drive home. She had invited Isobel for tea and she accepted to her surprise. Lunch hadn't gone well and she was hoping to get down to business to see what was eating at Isobel.

" You seem to be feeling better." Violet said.

" I just don't want people to fuss. I'll be fine." Isobel said.

" It's okay to not feel great all the time. I won't tell Lord Merton. You've got my word." Violet eyed her.

Isobel sighed and didn't say a word, until after they arrived at the house.

" It's Dickie… I'm happy and I love him but he's...he keeps me up at night and I haven't slept well in weeks. I've had a horrible headache for the past few days."Isobel finally admitted, her cheeks going red.

Violet chuckled a little.

Isobel was embarrassed, to say the least, especially having this chat with Violet. Knowing she would never let her live this down.

Dickie had been enjoying married life and his nights with Isobel were beginning to take a toll on her. She didn't know how to tell Dickie no.

" Perhaps Denker's advice should be taken. Put him in his place, Isobel." Violet said smugly, enjoying her cousin's sense of discomfort.

Isobel was blushing big time. She cleared her throat and sipped her tea. She could still feel Violet's eyes penetrating her.

" I think we should move on from this conversation." Isobel finally said, hoping to cease all thoughts and further conversation on the matter.

" How do you think Denker is handling things? I haven't seen her since we arrived." Isobel asked.

" Now that you mention it, I didn't either." Violet rang the bell and Spratt came right in.

" Yes M'lady?" he asked.

Violet looked up at him with a sly smile. " Might Denker be available for a word? I take it you know where she's hiding out?"

" Oh, I do M'lady. I'll go fetch her right away. Nothing would give me _greater_ pleasure." Spratt said before bowing out.

Isobel had to suppress a laugh, as did Violet. The two exchanged a glance at one another.

….

Meanwhile, Spratt made his way across the house to find Denker doing some sewing. He slyly watched her from the door before finding the perfect time to go right in.

When he did, Denker was shocked she didn't hear him and jumped nearly 3 feet out of her chair.

" What is the meaning of this behavior Spratt? Alright, I give up...what is it that you want from me?" Denker asked.

Spratt raised a brow, wondering why she was waving her flag so easily.

" The Dowager was requesting to see you in her drawing-room. With haste." Spratt said, still eyeing his coworker.

Denker put down her work and glided swiftly passed Spratt, and hurrying across the house. She was nervous but maintained a stoic expression, not wanting to let on that she was worried about losing her job.

She stood outside the door and could hear the Dowager and Isobel making conversation. She took the opportunity to straighten up her appearance before knocking.

" Enter." Violet said.

Denker opened the door and bowed at the two.

" You asked to see me?" Denker asked, keeping her head high.

" Yes, Denker, I did. Now...I have a very important matter to discuss with you." Violet said.

Isobel raised her brow unsure what her cousin was going to say.

" I read your little article in Spratt's column. I take it you find yourself an expert on relationships, do you?" Violet asked.

Denker looked a little frightened and at a loss for words.

" Well- uh...I may have suggested that I do have a keen eye for relationships." Denker said.

" Very well. And um, what may I ask prompted this sudden exposé of hidden talents?" Violet asked.

Isobel kept her eyes on her tea in fear she'd laugh.

" I was aware that Mister Spratt has no knowledge of relationships or even females. I simply thought he could use my services." Denker said with a nod and a smirk, thinking she'd won.

" Spratt could use some help in that department and I think you'd be the perfect person to help him find romance, as with Lady Merton. Yes, after reading that article, perhaps you could assist Lady Merton. It seems she needs the advice of someone to help her keep him away. He's persistent in their romance and doesn't know when to give things a rest. I heard you have the answers." Violet said, eliciting a coughing fit from Isobel.

Denker looked at Violet and then to Isobel, taking the remarks as a compliment from the Dowager.

" I'd be honored too." She grinned, smirking. Spratt thought he was too clever, but she wasn't getting fired and still felt 10 paces ahead of him.

Wait until I tell him…

" Is that all M'lady?" Denker asked, pleased with how the conversation went.

" Yes, it is. Thank you. You may go." she waved her out.

When Denker opened the door, she caught Spratt trying to scurry down the hallway.

" Oh! Mister Spratt! Wait!" Denker called.

Spratt turned around and stood still as a board. " Yes?" he asked.

" You're article has opened new opportunities for me. The Dowager would like me to help a certain someone find a partner and I think I have a few ideas…" Denker replied.

" Aren't you well Ms. Denker?" Spratt raised a brow.

" Perfectly fine! Love! Love is in the air and I intend to get you wed." She replied. Spratt's eyes widened and he let out a gasp as Denker linked her arm with his walking him down the hallway- her gears grinding on a way to drive him mad.

Denker looked up at Spratt as he kept his face forward, listening to Denker's words.

_Game...Set...Match_ Denker smirked to herself.

The END!:) thanks for reading!


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